Give me a second to think please.
I have to know myself. 20 years inside of this body and i`m still ignoring the truth about me. Reactions, disponibility, tastes, future, habilities, dreams...anything.
Lately i`ve been feeling the rejection clearly. I`m not ugly, this i know. I can`t think and feel. I can talk to you and even smile at you. I will help you if you fall. I would die for a true friend.
But i can`t seem to find anything that attaches me to anybody.
I`m an island and my heart is cold. Amazing how you can feel your heart so cold when you feel that much. Amazing what a mind can do with a body. Amazing what envy can do to you, they make you feel like you don`t fit in.
And i keep coming down and letting them hold me down. I keep smiling and talking to people who hate me. I keep falling. I keep feeling the same and every day and. I`m tired.
My body does not mean anything. I don`t have love. And. You are frozen if your heart is not open. Thank you Madonna.
I don`t know how to fix it but i keep faking that i feel good and that i`m normal.
And i don`t really want the attention. I just want a place where i can feel good.
This is honesty and fear. I just don`t know what to do. I haven`t learn anything. I don`t know anything.