I do not act like Amelie because i am a liar. I do it because i like him and i am lost. Besides, i feel it, i am like that. I like to make people feel special. I want him to feel special. Maybe is just me but i think he is lost too. This is dangerous, thinking that he could understand what i am/went throught.
I just want to live. Dance, feel, make love, drink, steal hearts and kisses, smell the flowers of reality. I want to write knowing what i am saying. I want to be real, stop feeling alone and lost. I want to hold his hand and smile.
I want to move out from this house of pain, traumas and control. I am not my mother and i will never be my father. I do not need to be my sister. Everything does not have to be like this. We are not three. I am only one body + one mind. I do not want to be attached to the past anymore. She says: since you grown up...What? What are you trying to say? That you want me naive and trapped? That you want me drowned by fears and missing friends? Without opinion? Do you need me crying and needing you forever?
You and your husband lost me some time ago and now you say that you want me depressed. Well, thank you.
I`m always afraid of life and considering that i`m alive and living a life, that`s just fucked up.
I started talking about love and end up talking about hate.
Life is not easy and it never was.